An Email Affair (8 of 15)

I truly forgive you, Regi.
And listen, today I took the liberty and did something unforgivable. In my imagination, I fled to the end of the long corridors of our clumsy emails and there I found a room, and there I climbed into the bed of adultery with you. Forgive me, but I slept with you in the white room of a rude daydream. It was beautiful as these things are: beauty beyond medicine, ecstasy beyond architecture. And… don’t take this badly, but you had an aroma of the most delightful cinnamon… Yet, post-climax, I climbed down from the bed and all my rooms were shrunken: my room with Sylvia, my room in church, my room in the office… do you understand? The rooms of my life will be darkened by a collision with you. Our sex will be beautiful but cursed. And I did not sate a hunger. I sowed a minefield of cloning hungers! It will destroy my life with Sylvia. It may not be true love – what I have with her – but it is true in its own way… beautiful in its own way… and I am grateful to her with every strand in my body. We have talked about church before, but even actors on stage have to believe in their script… this will make me forget my lines, Regi. If we are conflicted by our emotions now… Imagine how fraudulent we will feel afterwards. And how could I go to work on the morning after you, Regi? How? Let us leave this thing where it is now, please.
OMG, Sou!
This thing is from Heaven! I was in the same daydream! But like most men, you left too soon. LOL! You were leading with the sex, but this is true love. “Adultery?” 🙂 you are so eighteenth century! I stayed back in the dream of love, post-climax, and it was still beautiful. Love does not end after ejaculation, Sou, just as it does not begin with sex. God, do you know anything at all? Love is what paints the world with colour. Love is what Sylvia poured into you to turn you from the failure of your old course to the possibilities of a new career. Love is what I offer you now. To turn you from an old marriage to the possibilities of a new. You don’t need to hate Sylvia to leave her. I still love my Mom but I left her for Ralph! Look, when your gratitude is only surrounded by loyalty, where you are is a prison. Set yourself free, Sou. My own daydream was beautiful, in and out of the bed of our love. I did not return to an empty life with Ralph. I went into a new life with you, a new church, a new home, a new city… I am sorry, Sou, but I don’t do timid daydreams, that’s just who I am, and it was beautiful. There is a church of bondage, and then there is a church of love. Pastor Usman is a divorcee, isn’t he? Look how beautiful his new marriage is to Sister Rose. We can’t make the omelette of our new love without stepping out of the shells of our broken marriages – But I won’t cheapen myself anymore by begging you to talk to me. Goodbye Sou. Since you are too timid for this life, let’s meet tonight, again.
In your dreams. Wait till she falls asleep, and I’ll be there, I promise. – And for you, darling, tonight I’ll come perfumed in cinnamon.