How Waterloo was named

Napoleon, our halved hero found it decreed by the oracle
cow dung, brittle bones and a witch doctor that he be in envy
of the black nose. With a sling slang not unlike David’s
he stormed Egypt in search of Pharaoh but found that a black
face has a harder forehead than Goliath’s. “Troops! Retreat!”
our halved hero yelled. But alas, the salty swim across
the Mediterranean bloated one too many a stomach and troops
broken, ill winds blew. The battle field. Swords thrust into ballooned
soggy stomachs. That is how Water-Loo was named.