Seven effective habits of happily unsuccessful people

A self-help satire that in all probability is never coming to a book-store’s self-help section near you…

1) Be Retroactive
Random shit happens, how fast you deal with it will decide how it deals with you.

2) Begin with the beginning in mind
Don’t presume to know where you are going and how long it might take to get there.

3) Don’t do anything until you have to
(Fairly self-explanatory)

4) Think Zero-Zero
Something is inevitably lost by both sides in any confrontation, although it may not be readily apparent.

5) Seek to understand nothing nor to be understood
All we get are fractional glimpses of a larger truth; you will never know the whole truth of anything.

6) Create conflict
Conflict is the modus operandi of Earth and all its inhabitants, because it works; we are at our best when fighting others for something.

7) Blunt the blade
Don’t over-specialise, or you may find a single obsession that detracts from other obsessions.

Coming up next Week, Month, or Year: ‘Sorry there’s No Secret’.